Personalism is the Essence of Yugala Bhajan

A common prejudice in the Gaudiya sampradaya, represented by ISKCON and the Gaudiya Math in most of the world, is that Radha and Krishna's love is the "highest" while human sexuality is the "lowest." This is commonly used as an argument against the type of sādhanā and philosophy that I am teaching.

In my opinion, this just shows how ridiculous and marginal Krishna consciousness has become and how far from the goal of divine love or prema it has sauntered.

Let me say it again, for the millionth time, Radha and Krishna have no meaning at all if there is no love in this world between men and women. You would have no ability to understand or relate to Radha and Krishna as the manifestations of the highest and purest love if you did not have some intuitive understanding based on things you have seen, heard and experienced in this world. And, by the same token, since they are the archetype of the purest form of romantic love, they can be seen and realized through love in this world, as it is purified and sacralized.

Human sexuality falls into categories of the modes of nature. It is not all the same. It is not all "the lowest." In fact, in the sāttvika person, it can lead to the noblest of actions. It is in recognition of this that Radha and Krishna have been glorified above all. It is taking centuries for the sacred spiritual potential of human sexuality to be fully realized, but if we have any chance at all, it is through the grace of Sri Chaitanya and Rupa Goswami.

In the same vein ("highest and lowest"), one friend posted a comment here on Facebook and then, quite understandably, took it down immediately. That person wrote (I paraphrase), "Are you really saying couples should think of Radha and Krishna while f***ing?" That last word was not paraphrase, but an actual part of the question.

The short answer is yes. The F-word of course reveals a rajasik and tamasik attitude to sexuality that I don't agree with, but better you should think of Radha and Krishna when doing anything at all than not thinking of them. Surely we can all agree with that? The second verse of Śikṣāṣṭakam comes to mind.

But, my friends, my dear, dear friends, I understand your frustration with love in this world. We really are such fools and have not learned how to do it. So only a few of us find good relationships that are durable; most often even our longtime “successful” relations are little more than tolerable, merely dull but comfortable. But so few of us find even that, what to speak of truly fulfilling the romantic dream and finding the intensity of ever increasingly intimate communication that is possible between couples, especially during the act of lovemaking. How much rarer, then, are those who have learned how to use their mutual love as a sādhanā for chanting, hearing and remembering the Divine Couple? This is the highest sankirtan.

Love comes from love. Only. Nowhere else. If you are a man and see a woman as an object, this impersonalism is the sin, not the loving itself. Actually, the impersonal view cannot be love. If you can see the woman as person, then you are on the right track. The deeper your love, the deeper will be the revelation of her spiritual personhood to you. As you get realization of your sādhaka or sādhikā partner as a real, spiritual person in his or her truest and most profound spiritual nature, you are in fact coming into direct contact with the highest guru tattva. When you have reached that point, this procedure does not allow for anything more than complete fidelity and exclusiveness, because the entire divine and infinite macrocosm of Vrindavan, Radha and Krishna and the mood of the sakhis, is all revealed through the partner as guru-tattva.

If you are so-called "personalist" believing that God is a person, but you cannot see woman as a person, then you commit an offense to the personal God. Nothing should be spoken louder than this.

Men! Women! Don't be afraid to cultivate love for one another in the fear that it will be detrimental to your spirituality. Rather, become worthy of each other through sādhanā. Become sādhakas and love one another in remembrance of Radha and Krishna. Make your love a sacrament to the Divine Couple. See their presence within your love, as archetype to type. This is the highest manifestation of bhakti. It will radiate outward into every manifestation of your life: from madhura come vātsalya, sakhya, dāsya and śānta, making every one of them real and complete in their own sphere.

A big institution dedicated to spreading the philosophy of a personal loving God is frankly meaningless without sādhaka couples realizing the meaning of such love in their personal lives. There is no other ground for experiencing the madhura-rasa than this. I am sorry. It must be stated plainly. Anyone who claims otherwise is simply wrong.