Jagat

I think that my entire day could go in Rādhā-rasa-sudhā-nidhi . I start the day with meditation, thinking about what I am going to say, preparing, preparing, preparing. Then the time for class comes and who knows what I am going to say? Probably not what I prepared. And then afterward, I want to write about it. Like now. And that would take a couple more hours. I am stretching myself to my limits really. My Hindi is not so adequate that I feel that I am expressing myself with the poetic force that I should be able to have at my command. I want to sing songs I don't yet know. Half verses come to my mind. I scratch the surface of lilas that I know are much deeper. I point vaguely to the significances for sadhana, for real life. But somehow or other I am muddling through. And today they put up a mike in the ashram so that my voice is joining in the sound pollution of an Indian holy town. There is already some patha-kirtana going on down the road. I guess the mike helps drown out t...

naivākṣi-lagnaṁ dayitaṁ vilokase chāyāṁ nijāmanya-janīṁ ca manyase | sarvatra candrāvalikāṁ viśaṅkase citraṁ tavedaṁ praṇayākhya-nartanam || Kundalata says, “Sakhi Radhe! You cannot recognize your prāna-priyatama even when he is right before your eyes, and you mistake your own shadow for someone else! You suspect Chandravali's presence everywhere. This dance of yours known as praṇaya is truly amazing! (GLA 14.26) Even though the word praṇaya seems to be being used as a technical term, the prema-vaicittya circumstances do not fit the definition as given in Ujjvala-nīlamaṇi , which surprises me a little, as Krishnadas was thoroughly familiar with UN. Praṇaya is, as noted in a recent post , the state of love imbued with trust or viśrambha. Viśrambha is defined by Jiva as "a sense of oneness with the beloved" ( abheda-mananam ), while Vishwanath defines it as belief ( viśvasa ) without fear ( sambhrama ).