Jagat

Being yourself is not being someone you remember being in the past, someone lost in the judgment of others. Being yourself, finally, is about becoming that which you feel is perfect. Be yourself. Make yourself. Sartre says, "Hell is other people." Because of other people's judgment we are never free to be ourselves. Therefore, in a way, the worst hell is to love and be loved, because as soon as we become involved with another conditioned human being, we immediately become wrapped up in their expectations of what we should be or become. On the other hand, Scott Peck defines love as the ability to "extend oneself" or to make sacrifices for the spiritual welfare of another person. I think that what he means here by "spiritual welfare" is that selfish expectations are not what a person who loves is interested in, i.e. conditional love. But, of course, we are all fallible and conditioned, and even our concept of other people's spiritual welfare is ...

I just could not work today, so I decided that I had better get out of the ashram. I packed my kartals and RRSN and headed for the Ganges where I used to give classes, on the ghat near Sadhana Mandir. But it started raining. Having the cooped up consequences of nearly six weeks without going outside. The clouds were rushing towards the mountain, at first there was a hanging cloud dropping from the black and grey above, all of which surrounded the mountains across the Ganges with mist. The hanging cloud had broken away and was moving swiftly towards the mountain. At first it looked like she had hands outstretched towards it, and then the shape changed and it looked like she was kneeling in prayer, until she merged with the mists and rain. I went inside the Sadhana Mandir and it was 4.10, so I asked a woman in the meditation hall I could do kirtan for a while. She gave me permission and so I sang Bhaja Hunre Mana and Radha Ramana. Then I went out and talked about Radharani to a coup...