VMA 2.18 : It takes courage to live in Vrindavan
nāhaṁ vadiṣyāmi nijaṁ kulādikam|
nāhaṁ mukhaṁ darśayitāsmi kasyacit
vṛndāṭavī-vāsa-kṛte'tisāhasī ||2.18||
I will not leave the company of the saintly.
I will not speak of my family past or caste.
I will not show my face to anyone.
I am boldly intent on residing in Vrindavan.
Indeed, one must be atisāhasī to live in Vrindavan. Spiritual life is not for the weak, says the Upanishad. But don't go to Vrindavan to get caught up in the same entanglements that torment everyone in the world outside. The purpose of Vrindavan is to go deeper into oneself until one finds the jewels of prema. To remain always on the surface of things is a lack of courage.
In the previous verse (2.17), Prabodhananda Saraswatipada talked about caste and here again he mentions it in connection with courage. Although I translated as bold or courageous, Monier-Williams give "rash, precipitate, inconsiderate, foolhardy" as the definition of sāhasī. (ati just means exceedingly). For a Hindu to step outside the bounds of his caste identity is socially a rash move. To those in material consciousness, rejection of the rules of material life -- work, ambition, consumption -- is a foolhardy act. After all, what material enjoyments are available in the Dham? It is actually a danger to the Dham if it is allowed to become a place where materialistic acts are encouraged in the name of economic development.
A rash or foolhardy action means to take a risk on the basis of intelligence. Nothing ventured nothing gained, as the saying goes. One must be ready to ignore the opinions of worldly-minded me to engage in bhakti, and even more so if one wishes to live in or serve the Dham.
mandaṁ bāndhava-sañcayā jaḍa-dhiyaṁ muktādarāḥ sodarāḥ |
unmattaṁ dhanino viveka-caturāḥ kāmaṁ mahā-dāmbhikaṁ
moktuṁ na kṣamate manāg api mano govinda-pāda-spṛhām||81||
Let the expert ethicist call me a fool I do not mind.
The Vedic ritualist may say I am in error,
all my friends and relatives may consider me a black sheep,
while my brothers who love liberation call me stupid,
the pursuers of wealth may point me out as mad,
while learned philosophers assert that I am much too proud;
still my mind does not budge an inch
from its determination to serve Govinda’s lotus feet. (Padyāvalī 81)
To eat the remnants of untouchable is perhaps the most excessive act of rejection of mundane morality for someone with an orthodox Hindu mindset. But even a so-called enlightened Western person would feel disgust at taking anyone's remnants, what to speak of someone of a lower social class. Our fear of germs is as great or greater than an orthodox Brahmin's fear of bad-karma contagion. To suggest that one do so is shocking, but in the Vaishnava tradition, to make caste distinctions in a Vaishnava -- or in the case of a Brajavasi -- is a kind of hellish intelligence. If one wishes to be a devotee, one should neither be proud nor ashamed of one's birth.
viṣṇor vā vaiṣṇavānāṁ kali-mala-mathane pāda-tīrthe'mbu-buddhiḥ |
śrī-viṣṇor nāmni mantre sakala-kaluṣahe śabda-sāmānya-buddhir
viṣṇau sarveśvareśe tad-itara-sama-dhīr yasya vā nārakī saḥ ||114||
That intelligence
by which one thinks the deity image in the temple to be made of wood or stone,
who thinks of the spiritual master as an ordinary man,
who thinks a Vaishnava in terms of his birth caste or class,
who thinks of caraṇāmṛta which destroys the dirt of Kali, as ordinary water;
who considers the mantra composed of the names of the Lord,
which destroy all sins, to be an ordinary mundane sound;
or who considers the Supreme Lord of all lords, Vishnu,
to be equal to an ordinary human being,
leads one to a hellish existence. (Padyāvalī 114)
One should remember the story of Kali Das, a distant relation of Raghunath Das Goswami, told in the Antya-līlā of Caitanya-caritāmṛta. Kalidas made taking the remnants of Vaishnavas his main practice. If he knew someone to be a pure Vaishnava, even if they belonged to the untouchable community, he would donate mangoes or some other food and then take their remnants. When he went to Jagannath Puri, Mahaprabhu allowed him to drink the water of his feet and gave him the remnants of his own plate, something he was loathe to do with anyone else. Kaviraj Goswami thus sings the praise of the Vaishnava's remnants:
kālidāse pāoẏāila prabhura kṛpā sīmā
tāte baiṣṇabera jhuṭā khāo chāḏi ghṛṇā lāja
yāhā haite pāibā nija bāñchita saba kāja
kṛṣṇera ucchiṣṭa haẏa mahā prasāda nāma
bhakta śeṣa haile mahā mahā prasādākhyāna
bhakta pada dhūli āra bhakta pada jala
bhakta bhukta abaśeṣa tina mahā bala
ei tina sebā haite kṛṣṇa premā haẏa
punaḥ punaḥ sarba śāstre phukāriẏā kaẏa
tāte bāra bāra kahi śuna bhakta gaṇa
biśbāsa kariẏā kara e tina sebana
tina haite kṛṣṇa nāma premera ullāsa
kṛṣṇera prasāda tāte sākṣī kālidāsa
"This is the extent of the glories of the remnants of the devotee's foodstuffs: through his dedication to them, Kali Das was able to attain the very limits of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu's mercy. Therefore, set aside your shame and disgust and eat the Vaishnavas' remnants, for by so doing you will be able to fulfill all your desires. The remnants of Krishna's food are called mahā prasāda, but the remnants of the devotee are given the name mahā mahā prasāda. The dust of a devotee's feet, the water that has washed his feet, and the remnants of his food are three very powerful aids to spiritual practice. All revealed scriptures loudly declare again and again that one can attain the supreme goal of ecstatic love for Krishna through the use of these three substances. So, my dear devotees, please listen to me, for I insist on this point: keep faith in these three substances and render service to them with complete faith. Through these three substances you will taste the joy of sacred love which is found in the holy name of Krishna and you will win Krishna's pleasure. This has been proven by the experience of Kali Das." (CC 3.16.58-63)
From my own observations from living in Bengal in the 1970's and 1980's, that this custom has almost entirely disappeared from the Gaudiya Vaishnava world today.
As for not speaking of one's caste or showing one's face, the meaning is to avoid the limelight and avoiding the pitfalls of lābha, pūjā and pratiṣṭhā ("profit, adoration and prestige"). Prabodhananda Saraswati was no doubt of the highest brahminical birth and as a sannyasi, at the pinnacle of Hindu society, so for him to talk about his status would have invited these kinds of problems. The reason Gaudiya Vaishnavas do not, as a rule, take the saffron dress of sannyas is to avoid this pitfall. On the other hand, we have many examples of the exalted devotees of Mahaprabhu like Rupa and Sanatan welcoming their position as outcastes, etc.
VMA 2.17 : Give up caste identity to dwell in Braj
VMA 2.16 : Give up chewing the already chewed
VMA 2.15 : I will do violence to anyone who tries to remove me from Vrindavan
VMA 2.14 : Give up chewing the already chewed
VMA 2.13 : Ananta Vrindavan
VMA 2.12 : Vrindavan's trees, vines and deer fulfill the meaning of their names
VMA 2.11 : We bow to the trees and vines of Vrindavan
VMA 2.10 : Radha and Krishna pick flowers in their garden
VMA 2.9 : Serve that pair of divine effulgences
VMA 2.8 : Don't identify with the body, but think of it as spiritual
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