Is it not just selfish desire?
Yesterday I went to listen to the Bhagavatam around the corner, where a seven-day program is going on. The speaker is in the Swami Haridas line, but he is a real non-denominational Vrindavan lover and seems to have equal affection for Harivansh Goswami and Radha Vallabha as he has for Swami Haridas and Banke Bihari. He also told some Gaudiya stories, like about Shyamananda finding the nupur in Seva Kunj, and Rupa Goswami’s warning not to look at Govindaji or you would lose everything. smerāṁ bhaṅgī-traya-paricitāṁ sāci vistīrṇa-dṛṣṭiṁ vaṁśī-nyastādhara-kiśalayām ujjvalāṁ candrakeṇa | govindākhyāṁ hari-tanum itaḥ keśi-tīrthopakaṇṭhe mā prekṣiṣṭhās tava yadi sakhe bandhu-saṅge'sti raṅgaḥ || My friend, if you still want to find pleasure in the company of your friends and relatives, then don't look at this form of Hari called "Govinda," not far from here at Keshi Ghat, smiling, in his famous triple-crooked stance, with his big crooked glance. the red sl...