April 7-8

The bell rings and I go outside to see the sun pouring over the mountains onto dew-filled fields. The colored winter flowers are fading and the white summer ones scattering like snowflakes on the vines. The shukas squawk like beggars in the ancient arjun trees behind the dining hall. (12 years ago, Rishikesh)

Came across this old photo from 1974 with me reading to Srila Prabhupada. Maybe the only picture I know of me with Prabhupada. Not very good quality unfortunately. It is interesting that my only photo with Lalita Prasad Prabhu is also of me reading to him. In both cases I am reading back to them their own words.

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Came across this previously unknown verse, credited only to "Veda Vyasa":

rūpaṁ rūpa-vivarjitasya bhavato dhyānena yat kalpitaṁ
stutyānirvacanīyatākhila-guro dūrīkṛtā yan mayā |
vyāpitvaṁ ca nirākṛtaṁ bhagavato yat tīrtha-yātrādinā
kṣantavyaṁ jagadīśa tad-vikalatā-doṣa-trayaṁ mat-kṛtam ||

[Comment from 2022: This verse could likely be considered a good example of rasābhāsa, or uparasa of śānta-rasa as described in the last chapter of Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu showing the fault of excessive awareness of the Brahma nature of the Param Brahman, i.e. Bhagavān. I am studying the last two chapters of BRS in order to undergird my work on the Prīti Sandarbha. I might start sharing insights from that study if I can get around to it. Here is the translation of this verse (which was not given in my FB post):]

You are formless and yet in my meditations I have imagined You with form;
You are beyond the capacity of words to describe and yet, O unlimited teacher,
I have ignored this truth by singling hymns to You;
What is more: I have denied your all-pervasiveness by traveling to places of pilgrimage [to find You]:
O Lord of the Universe! Please forgive me for these three sins I have committed inadvertently.

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[BRS 4.9.4-6:

There are three kinds of rasābhāsa ("the semblance of rasa"): uparasa, anurasa, and aparasa, which are respectively its better, middling and inferior types. Each of the twelve rasas has its uparasa, when there are distortions or improprieties in the various ingredients that combine to make what a Vaishnava would appreciate as rasa.

tatra śāntoparasāḥ—
brahma-bhāvāt para-brahmaṇy advaitādhikya-yogataḥ |
tathā bībhatsa-bhūmādeḥ śānto hy uparaso bhavet ||4||

The uparasa ("almost a rasa") of śānta is of three kinds: prioritization of the impersonal Brahman feature of the Supreme Brahman, contemplating the oneness of everything with Him, from excessive disgust for the body, etc.

Here the distortions are applicable in all the bhāvas.

An example of the first kind is given:
vijñāna-suṣamā-dhaute samādhau yad udañcati |
sukhaṁ dṛṣṭe tad evādya purāṇa-puruṣe tvayi ||5||

On seeing You, the ancient person, I have today clearly seen that same truth that arises when in the trance of samādhi purified by the splendor of realized knowledge.

An example of the second kind:

yatra yatra viṣaye mama dṛṣṭis
taṁ tam eva kalayāmi bhavantam |
yan nirañjana parāvara-bījaṁ
tvāṁ vinā kim api nāparam asti ||6||

Wherever I look upon whatever object, there I see only You, O Spotless One!
For in truth there is nothing other than You, the seed of all, from highest to lowest!

No example was given for the third kind.

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11 years ago

Everybody is in some tradition. No one is outside something. You gravitate towards whatever that is. I choose (to the extent of my free will) to gravitate towards Radha and Krishna and away from other cultural artifacts, past or present, no matter how grandiose. I have intellectual reasons, but the main reason is the flow of divine love has come to me through them.

[Comment from 2022: This statement was meant to counteract those who hold that it is possible to stand outside of tradition in some kind of absolute divine individuality. This is a frequent error on the part of immature thinkers. One has to recognize where one is coming from in order to know where one is going.]

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9 years ago

One of my favorite all time verses, frequently posted in this blog whenever thinking of Vrindavan.

anārādhya rādhā-padāmbhoja-reṇum
anāśritya vrndāṭavīṁ tat-padāṅkām |
asambhāṣya tad-bhāva-gambhīra-cittān
kutaḥ śyāma-sindho rasāvagāhaḥ ||

Not ever having worshipped once the dust
that sprinkles from Śrīmatī’s lotus feet;
not having taken shelter even once
of Vraja Dhām, marked with her dainty tread;
not ever having spoken with the souls
so laden with a weighty love for her ,
how foolish they who think that they can plunge
into the secret sea of nectar that is Śyāma!

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6 years ago

For some people independence is more important than love. And it is true, there can be no love except from the platform of independence and free will. Only one who is independent can surrender to love. But ultimately we must surrender to love: that is primary. Renunciation means giving up whatever interferes with such surrender.

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Feeling noble and sacrificial: UN 14.185:

[The following verses are from Ujjvala's description of mahā-bhāva, one characteristic of which is]

asahya-duḥkha-svīkārāt tat-sukha-kāmatā-

Desiring the happiness of the other, even at the expense of tolerating one's own unbearable suffering.

syān naḥ saukhyaṁ yadapi balavad goṣṭham āpte mukunde
yady alpāpi kṣatir udayate tasya māgāt kadāpi |
aprāpte'smin yadapi nagarād ārtir ugrā bhaven naḥ
saukhyaṁ tasya sphurati hṛdi cet tatra vāsaṁ karotu ||185||

The gopis in separation say: "Even though it would bring us such great happiness if Krishna returned to the cowherd village, if it means that he should suffer even a little on that account, let him not come. And even though his being far away in the city means that we experience excruciating pain, it he is happy there in his heart, let him live there."

And the counterpart: UN 14.171

lokātītam ajāṇḍa-koṭigam api traikālikaṁ yat sukhaṁ
duḥkhaṁ ceti pṛthag yadi sphuṭam ubhe te gacchataḥ kūṭatām|
naivābhāsa-tulāṁ śive tadapi tat kuṭa-dvayaṁ rādhikā-
premodyat-sukha-duḥkha-sindhu-bhavayor vindeta bindvor api ||

If we were to take all the the most intense happiness and distress in all the billions of universes, accumulated through past present and future, and were to make two mountains, O Parvati, they would not equal even two drops of the ocean of happiness and distress that arise from Radharani's love for Krishna.

This verse is interesting for its equation of Radha's suffering and happiness with their material counterparts.

[Comment from 2022: Of course there can be no comparison: Radha's suffering is a kind of excruciating joy, so this verse is simply rhetorical. Nevertheless it has always been important for me to consider the material reflection as a way of piercing the mystery of Radha's love.]