विपदः सन्तु ताः

I did a lot of stuff on the weekend--I read, I updated or finished six or seven files on the GGM, I helped U. finish her dissertation. But I did it all in a state of tamo-guna consciousness. I did most of it sitting in front of the TV, deadening myself to my self.

U.'s thesis is about sankirtan. I was reminded of that Sridhar Maharaj quote someone once posted on GD--"The essence of love lives by distribution; not by absorbtion, but by distribution. That is love. Prema is that which exists by its tendency of distribution, and that is the highest."

And that is what I am NOT doing. Even though I may flatter myself that I am not doing nothing, it is almost as if.

I woke up this morning singing the verse--


vipadaḥ santu tāḥ śaśvat
tatra tatra jagad-guro
bhavato darśanaṁ yat syāt
apunar bhava-darśanam


It is one of the very first verses I ever learned. But it really summarizes, I guess, the Mahabharata's teachings. (Since the Bhagavata is a supplement or appendix to the MBh, the First Canto kind of resumes what the author of BhP thinks you should have gotten out of it.)

O Jagad Guro! Spiritual Master of the Universe! May there always be dangers! For wherever danger exists, there we see you. And by seeing you, we will never have to see this material existence again.

The point being that we are engaged in a constant process of education, given to us by God, who is the Guru. Therefore, by accepting the challenges of life, by accepting the dangers, we learn God's lessons more quickly than we do by remaining safe, holed up in our garrisons. That is what Jesus also meant by the story of the talents and the servants who buried them, and those who invested them. The investors, the riskers, were the ones who were pleasing in his eyes.

Love is always a risky business. Mainly because when you love, you have to give of yourself. The Upanishads say that a kripana, a miser, has to come back into the material world again and again. Prabhupada trained us to think of giving even when we had very little. And then we became afraid (as is quite natural) and started thinking--I don't have enough to give, so how can I? I must accumulate--knowledge, wealth, bhakti, sadhana, experience, whatever. Practically everything except love itself.

And where are we now? Sitting on a pile of ashes. Unless you are actively, person to person, giving the gifts you have received, your accumulations are ephemeral. The only thing that will really be left you on your deathbed is the love you have given.

I was talking to Kutichak on the phone Saturday. He really misses me coming up and visiting on the weekends. I said to him again what I have probably already said here before: "Prabhupada showed us how to die. He had the most glorious death I have ever heard of. If I can die with even just one person singing the Holy Name in my ear with love and gratitude (or even better, singing Sri Rupa Manjari Pada), then I will measure that as a sign that my life was a success."

It sounds almost trivial, stupid even. But that is a fact. The Catholics know this, with their Extreme Unction. Mother Theresa knew this. But there is a difference between the succour given the sinner by a priest and the love given by those who come with gratitude, repaying spontaneously the gifts of love they have received.

Gurudeva! Please let me learn to give! I am nearing the last phase of my life, and what have I given back of the gifts I have received? I have buried them in a corner of my garden and left them there, waiting for you to come and claim them. I have understood nothing of Your Truth.

Radhe ! Radhe !

Comments

Such a mature viewpoint of preaching! I have, in the past been guilty of the bifurcated vision that sees preaching as seperate from Mahaprabhu's desire for us (me) to become a YugalaKishora sevaka which would naturally (hmm) be accomplished by bhajana. Thank Their Lordships and my friends in IGM for showing me (from CC) the actual nature of Sankirtan. Selfishness and selflessness woven together/tasting and giving as one action, etc.
Joy Nitai Gaursundar!
Subrata said…
1) My paramgurudeva famous Vaishnavacharya 108 Sidhdha Srimad Ram Das Babaji once said about his Guru deva Purna Nityananda Shakti Mahavir 1008 Sri Sri Radharaman Charan Das Deva ( our beloved DadaMahasaya ) :

"Sadhan Sidhdha Jara Tader Nojor Pore Sadhan Bhajan er dike .
Kripa Sidhdha Jara Tader Najor Pore Patit Udhdharer Dike ...
Omni i ekdin onar ( DadaMahasayar ) nojor e porechilaam..."

Those who are Sadhana Sidhdha are inclined towards closed Sadhan Bhajan ... and those who are Kripa Sidhdha they are inclined for delivering to fallen.... and this is the reason I received the deliverance by Sri Gurudev ( DadaMahasaya ).

2. Sri Sri Prabhu Jagadbandhu Sundar, beloved childhood friend, spiritual guide and soulmet of my Param Guru Deva 108 Sri Sri Ram das Babaji once said to his beloved Rami ( Ram Das Babaji ) in earlier days ...

" Dakh Rami , tui Brindaban Jabar janya chotfot korchis .. Kintu nijer janya Khabar to pasu pakhkhi o jogar kore... kintu opor ke khaiye je khaoay sei to prakrito manush "

" See Rami, yoiur are restless for going to Vrindavan, but any animal or even birds can manage to arrange food for themselves , but he is the actual human being who arrange the food for others and then feed himself."

On later part of his life Srimad Ram Das Babaji on seeing on seeing his would be GuruDeva our beloved DadaMahasaya ( Radharaman Dev) beneath the baniyan tree at Navadwip could understand he is that human who feed others first before feeding himself and could identify his eternal savior.

Note: Sri Sri Prabhu JagadBandhu Sundar could not utter the name of Radharani, that is why since his childhood he used to call his dear friend my Param Gurudeb ( Srimad Ram Das Babaji ) as Rami, because my Param Gurudeva's name was Radhika Gupta in his previous asram.
3. Our beloved Dadamahasaya often prayed to his beloved NitaiChand ...

" Amar pran Nitai, tumi Prabhur Biswambhar naam sarthak koro, jatokhon porjonto tumi na sesh patit ke udhdhar korcho , toto din ami tomar khache asbo na.. Ami sobar sesh e i tomar kaachey udhdhar pabo.."

" O my sould Nitai, please make my beloved Lord's name Vishambhar a success. Until and unless you deliver to the last fallen in this world, I will not come to your fold, untll then I would prefer to be remain fallen and assciates with the fallen. I will prefer to be the last person for getting the deliverance.

Nitai Gour Radhey Shyam
Hare Krishna Hare Ram

Jay Nitai

Jay Sri Radharaman

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